


Holes in the wall

by LeafMeAloneImBushed



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: 4x17, Archie Is a Good Friend, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt Jughead Jones, Hurt/Comfort, Jughead Jones Needs a Hug, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, barchie sucks, betty is a good girlfriend, bughead forever, idk how to write, jug has a panic attack, jughead isnt okay, my writing sucks, sorry about this, u cant blame him tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23868418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeafMeAloneImBushed/pseuds/LeafMeAloneImBushed
Summary: yes, the evils of Stonewall prep had been vanquished. Physically, at least. They were all either behind bars or in a different place, far away. But they’re not gone. Not really. They were still there, for him. Their calculating smirks dancing behind his eyelids, a dark forest working its way into his nightmares, waking him in a cold sweat almost every night. Oh, yeah, and a certain videotape didn’t help matters, either.
Relationships: Alice Cooper/FP Jones II, Archie Andrews & Betty Cooper, Archie Andrews & Jughead Jones, Archie Andrews/Veronica Lodge, Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	Holes in the wall

**Author's Note:**

> Set after Jughead finds the new videotape in 4x17

Jughead didn’t know why he came back. He knew he was supposed to be doing his homework, staying away from the videotapes, and respecting his girlfriends’ wishes. But there was this nagging, telling him “just one more” as the pile of unwatched videotapes dwindled. He picked up a new one, one he hadn’t seen before, and pushed it into the player, his confusion growing. Nothing could prepare him for what played out on the screen. Yet Jughead couldn’t look away, no matter how much he wanted to. His eyes stayed, transfixed on the screen a moment longer, struggling to push down the rising horror in the pit of his stomach. The masked Betty leaned into the camera, her wide, insane eyes and grin imprinting themselves into his brain. He quickly shut off the screen, tears forming in his eyes. He closed them and looked away, his hands out as if to protect himself from the monsters behind the screen. In the now-pitch black bunker, a beanie-clad teenager’s resolve broke. 

Betty’s suspicions grew as she knocked on Jughead’s door. No answer. As expected. With a sigh, she knocked again before cracking open his bedroom door.   
“Jug?” She called warily, flicking the lights on. Her annoyance increased when, sure enough, the room was empty, besides his unmade bed, countless books sitting atop the ruffled sheets. With an exasperated sigh, she grabbed her jacket and made her way out of the house. There was only one place her boyfriend could be - the bunker. Yes, she was disappointed that he was still obsessing over those tapes instead of doing his work, but it’s not like he was cheating on her… Another pang of guilt stabbed her in the heart at the thought. Jughead was the love of her life, but when she was around Archie… things were different. She could pretend to be the perfect girl next door again. She shook herself. Jughead was her boyfriend, and she loved him more than words could describe. They stayed together for almost three years now. Stuck together through thick and thin, through serial-killer dads and murderous cults. Heck, she even helped him fake his death. She shivered, despite it being a warm night. She couldn’t get that moment out of her brain. Jughead, laying on the ground, unmoving, blood pouring out of the cut in his head. He wasn’t breathing. He had no pulse. She was this close to losing him. Betty sighed and continued walking, getting closer to the bunker. She wished Jughead would open up a little bit. He built walls around himself, carefully, to not let any of his pain or fear slip through. She could see it sometimes. The holes in his walls. Like when they were sitting in Pops, and Kevin came up behind Jughead and asked to sit with them. Jughead jumped and spun around, his eyes wide. Betty could see it in his unfocused eyes for a second, the primal fear animals experienced during hunting season. She reached over and grabbed his hand, stroking soft circles on it. He looked at her and visibly relaxed, but that didn’t stop his trembling. No one really noticed but Archie, who looked at him with his brows drawn together, as if he was thinking. He opened his mouth as if to ask Jughead something, but decided against it. Jughead didn’t talk much that night after that. She hoped he was okay. He said he was okay, but Betty knew he wasn’t. By the time she made it to the entrance to the Bunker, her annoyance disappeared and was replaced with worry. Hauling the lid to the tunnel open, she briefly wondered why it was so dark in there, before jumping down and walking cautiously towards the black room. Despite a few candles that were lit, she could barely see anything.   
“Juggy..?” She called into the shadows. She didn’t see anything so she got out her phone to call Archie.   
“Hey, Betty, what’s up?” Her best friend answered over the phone.   
“I can’t find Jug in the bunker. Is he at your house?” Betty asked, before hearing a loud crash in the corner of the bunker.   
“No - what was that?”  
“Um, nothing. I’ll call you back.” Betty hung up and placed her phone on the table and approached the dark corner. She could see the shape of him. He was sitting against the wall, his elbows on his knees, his hands pressed against his face. He was shaking, badly.   
“Jug…” Betty started but was interrupted by the ringing of her phone. Jughead jumped, his fists clenching and his eyes wild and wide, looking at nothing. Archie! Betty cursed in her head and reached back to turn her phone to silent.   
“Jughead… what’s wrong?” Betty tried again, attempting to approach her boyfriend. Too late, she realized what was happening, as his eyes widened and his teeth grit together as if suppressing a scream. Jughead was having a panic attack. His eyes brimmed with tears and his breathing was quick and sharp as if he was trying hard to simply draw air into his lungs. Sweat gleamed on his forehead, but he was shivering - or shaking - at the same time. Betty didn’t know what to do. She took a deep breath and took another step, crouching down.   
“Hey, Jug… it’s okay. You’re okay.” she reached out a hand, and Jughead flinched, letting out a low moan. Betty pulled her hand back, and stared at him, her heart clenching painfully.   
“Jughead. It’s me. Betty.” Jughead inhaled sharply, his eyes darting around the room.   
“Bet-Betty.” He said shakily. He took a deep breath as if to calm himself down, but it didn’t appear to work. “Don’t hurt her.” He clawed at his chest as if he couldn’t breathe, and one hand was pressed to the scar on his forehead, from where Joane hit him with the rock. He wasn’t with Betty. He was somewhere else right now.   
Betty’s heart sank, but she tried a third time.   
“Jughead. You’re safe.” She spoke softly. “You’re with me. Betty. It’s okay.”   
He shut his eyes tightly, his fists and teeth still clenched.   
“You’re not at Stonewall anymore.” Betty hesitated, but then placed a hand on his shoulder, rubbing soft circles on his arm. He flinched but didn’t pull away.   
“Jughead,” Betty repeated firmly, placing another hand on his cheek. “Look at me.”  
He opened his blue eyes and looked into hers, beginning to relax.   
“Breathe with me. Listen? Inhale, exhale.” He slowly began to match his breaths with her. “Good. That’s good, Jug.” She smiled. His eyes closed slowly, leaning into her touch.   
“Betty.” He croaked after another minute, his eyes focused. She smiled and pulled him into a hug. He inhaled sharply, but hugged her back, tighter. Jughead clung to her like life support, but he refused to let himself cry. He was still shaking, but it was better. After a few seconds, Betty pulled away, to his disappointment. She looked at her boyfriend firmly, his face in her hands.   
“Jug. How did this happen?” He shut his eyes tight, everything flashing behind his eyes again. Then he slowly pointed to the tapes.   
“Jug!” Betty exclaimed quietly. “I told you to stop watching those.”  
“I know, I-I’m sorry.” He shuddered. “But this one- it was different.” Betty narrowed her eyes in confusion.   
“What do you-” She was interrupted by a loud crash and Archie stumbling into the Bunker in a less than graceful trip and fall. He scrambled to his feet and stopped short when he saw Jughead and Betty cramped in the corner.   
“Uh… what’s going on?” Archie asked. Betty realized Jughead was startled by the noise and was starting to tremble again. She grabbed his hand.  
“Hey, Hey, it’s okay.” She reassured, despite being annoyed that Jughead was still watching the tapes. Jughead calmed down a lot faster this time, while Archie stood quietly behind Betty, still confused, but he sensed something bad was happening. Jughead noticed Archie still standing there and attempted to regain his composure. He struggled to his feet, using the table to steady his shaking legs.   
“What are you doing here?” He asked, his voice still a bit croaky. He cleared his throat to get rid of it.   
“Uh… I was worried about Betty. She hung up on me and didn’t answer my calls.” Betty sighed.   
“What are you guys doing anyway? What happened?” He pressed. Betty glanced at Jughead.   
“Jug had a-” She stopped when Jughead shook his head. “-n essay to write.” Archie’s eyebrows drew together in worry.   
“You don’t have to lie to me, Jug.” He placed a hand on his best friend’s shoulder. “It’s okay. You can tell me anything.” Jughead looked at him.  
“Really, Archie. Everything’s fine.” He smirked at him for a second, then his eyes dropped to the floor at Betty’s glare.   
“You should tell him, Jug.” She whispered to him softly. “He’s your friend, and he cares about you. He only wants to help.” Jughead sighed, suppressing another shiver.   
“Really, I’m f-” He tried again, but Archie interrupted, growing a little annoyed.   
“No, man, you’re not.” He snapped. “I can see you. Always looking behind your shoulder, jumping at the smallest noises. I see that look in your eyes. I know you went through hell and back and you nearly didn’t - didn’t make it.” His voice caught for a second, but he continued. “But you don’t have to keep it hidden from us. We’re here for you.” Jughead stared at him, then at the floor.   
“I’ve been having panic attacks.” He muttered under his breath, stuffing his hands in his pockets, and glaring at the dirt. He shivered again, and reached up to wipe the cold sweat off his brow.   
“So you-” Archei started, but was this time interrupted by Betty.   
“Wait, having?” She started at him, growing angry. “You mean this has happened before? And you didn’t tell us?!” Jughead looked uncomfortable but met her gaze.   
“It’s not that important, I didn’t want to worry you-”  
“You at least told your dad, right?” Betty stepped closer, and when he didn’t say anything, she pressed her palm to her forehead. “Right?” Jughead shifted and looked away.   
“Betty,” Archie said sharply, stopping Betty from blowing up on her boyfriend, and Jughead now turned his attention to his best friend as well. Archie met Jughead’s gaze again.   
“How often?” Jughead sighed, seeing that he couldn’t get out of this.   
“Not that much. I just get startled sometimes, or when I go outside at night. Sometimes.” He added quickly, seeing Betty’s eyes widen. His next sentence was a low murmur. “I had a few last weeks.” Betty didn’t say anything, but all of the fire went out of her eyes. She sat down and placed her head in her hands.   
“But really, I’m fine. It’s been getting better-”  
“Jug. We could've helped you.” Archie said gently.   
“No. No.” Jughead felt better, he had to admit to himself, when his friends were here for him. It didn’t last as long this time. But he couldn’t have his friends worrying over him. “This is my problem. I can handle it.”   
“Listen to yourself,” Betty spoke up, and with a pang of guilt, he noticed tears welling up. “Do you not understand how much we care about you?” Jughead’s eyes softened.   
“Betty, I’m sorry.” Archie tried to make his way over to Betty, but Jughead was already there, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her close. Now he was the one comforting her. But it’s okay. This is the way it’s supposed to be. He couldn’t burden his friends with his uselessness. He buried his head in her neck, still hugging her, and she pressed her face into his hair. Betty was the strongest person he knew, but he knew she couldn’t deal with the trauma of nearly losing her boyfriend and then watching the person she loved struggle with the demons she could do nothing against. And it was all because of him. He cursed himself internally for not doing a well enough job of concealing his problems like he usually does. He should’ve just kept it to himself.   
“I’m sorry, Betty.” He whispered. Meanwhile, Betty was thinking of the polar opposite of his thoughts. She was supposed to be helping him, but here she was, seeking him for comfort. She made herself pull away to look at him.   
“You said something was wrong with the tapes. What did you mean?” Betty narrowed her eyes.   
“I- It wasn’t watching the houses, it- was me, a-and-” He breathed in deeply and closed his eyes again. “It’s still in the player.” Before Betty could stop him, Archie curiously pressed the rewind button, then quickly clicked play. Jughead tried to watch again, looking for clues, but then he was standing in the forest again, Bret in front of him, and the pain was erupting in his forehead. Someone was behind him. He clenched his eyes tight shut and pressed a hand to his head, throbbing with pain. He turned away from the screen again and tried to focus on his breathing like Betty taught him to. Archie and Betty watched the tape silently, eyes wide and horrified. They were aware of Jughead’s escalated breathing, but they couldn’t tear their eyes away from what was playing in front of them. It was Betty who shut it off, and she took a moment as well to control her breathing, before turning to Jughead, who, despite himself, let out a broken sob and enveloped her in a hug. Archie still stood staring at the screen in shock, even though nothing was playing on it. He then crouched down and wrapped his big arms around his other two friends. They stayed like that, in each others’ embrace, taking comfort in the people they love most. Betty knew it would be okay. It wasn’t okay now, but they had each other, and they could get Jughead through this. Now, everything was clear. Jughead was the one for her, not Archie. And now he needed her. She tugged her friend and boyfriend tighter, allowing herself a small smile. They would get through this. They always do.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay. Sorry. This isn't my best work since I haven't written in about a year at this point. This was kind of a warmup for me since I just got into Riverdale. I'm pretty insecure about my writing so if you enjoyed please drop a kudos and a comment for me. It'll make my day. I'm also open to constructive criticism. :)
> 
> Thanks for reading.


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